undaunted dreaming

I wanna get married in...

2005-09-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

1) Smoke?
~ I don't intend to try. EVER.

2) Read the newspaper?
~ When I have the time.

3) Pray?
~ YES. It's an essential part of my life.

4) Been in love?
~ Not YET. Come sweep me off my feet. ;)

5) Gone skinny dipping?
~ Nope.

6) Had a medical emergency?
~ Thank God, no.

7) Had surgery?
~ Nope.

8) Ran away from home?
~ Nope.

9) Played strip poker?
~ Nope.

10) Got beaten up?
~ Yikes! Nope.

11) Been on stage?
~ Lots of times.

12) Slept outdoors?
~ Yep. Definitely a memorable experience!

13) Pulled an all nighter?
~ Yeah. Once or twice.

14) Made out with a stranger?
~ Nope.

15) Been on radio/tv?
~ Yes to both. Local, though.

16) Been in a mosh-pit?
~ Nope.

17) Pepsi or coke?
~ Either but I usually have Coke.

18) Chocolate or vanilla?
~ Vanilla all the way, baby!

19) Internet or phone?
~ I can't live without the two! *telebabad queen and net junkie!*

20) Suicidal?
~ No.

21) Stubborn?
~ Not really.

22) Open-minded?
~ Yeah.

23) Arrogant?
~ Sometimes.

24) Patient?
~ Maybe?

25) Hyper?
~ It depends.

26) Nice?
~ Definitely. :D

27) Happy?
~ Yes but it doesn't show because I'm sooo TIRED.

28) Shave your head for $1000?
~ Sayang ung sumusunod na hair!

29) Like candles?
~ Candelit dinners are nice. ;)

30) Believe in love at first sight?
~ Hasn't happened yet.

31) Believe in forgiveness?
~ Yeah. It's just hard to FORGET.

ABOUT YOU:

34) Three words that sum you up.
~ Outgoing. Obsessive-compulsive (at times). Moody.

35) Jewelry worn daily.
~ Earrings. Diamond ring. Bracelet.

36) Coffee.
~ Starbucks, please. :P

37) Shoes.
~ Uhhh.. *shoefetish*

38) Cologne/perfume.
~Victoria's Secret. Calgon.

39) Clothing you have on.
~ Striped jammies and a tee.

IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU

40) Cried?
~ Nope.

41) Gotten sick?
~ Nope.

42) Sang?
~ Yeah.

43) Eaten?
~ I can't live without eating. Lol. :P

44) Been kissed?
~ Sa cheeks lang.

45) Talked to an ex?
~ Member of NBSB Club.

46) Seen someone you have a crush on?
~Nope.

47) Had a serious talk?
~ Nope.

48) Missed someone?
~ Yeah.

49) Hugged someone?
~ Nope. They do the hugging kasi!

LAST PERSON WHO

50) Slept in your bed.
~ Moi.

51) Saw you cry.
~ Glaizel. *pero tear lang yun*

52) Made you cry.
~ Giving up Search-In Batch 3 for ACET. *sigh*

53) You went to the movies with.
~ Mommy.
54) Said "I Love You" and meant it?
~ A while ago.

HAVE YOU...

55) Dreamt something really crazy and then it happened the next day?
~ Nope.

56) Wished you were the opposite sex?
~ Yeah but I'm definitely a girly girl. :D

57) What book are you reading now?
~ When Chic Hits the Fan. Eleven Minutes.

58) Worst feeling in the world?
~ Broken. Depressed. Worthless.

59) What's under your bed?
~ Microscopic dust.

60) Siblings?
~ Nada.

61) Piercings/tattoos?
~ Once each ear. Had Henna once.

63) Do you do drugs?
~ Only the LEGAL ones.

64) Do you drink?
~ Occassionally.

65) What clothes do you sleep in?
~ Depends.

66) Where do you want to get married?
~ Somewhere romantic. *dreamy*

Changes

2005-08-22T05:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged here in a veeeeeeery long time. I don't even remember when that was. Summer, I suppose.

Well, time has passed since then and lots of things have changed. They're not that evident, though. It happens gradually.. and with one look back, you suddenly realize that it isn't the way it used to be. With the rush of college applications and all the other school projects we're having, it's dawning more and more that college is inevitable.. it is but a few more steps away. I fear having to leave my comfort zone, La Salle Academy. It's been almost ten years since I became a part of this institution and ever since then, I've prided myself in saying that I am a Lasallian and I believed wholeheartedly in our institution's mission-vision to Teach Minds, Touch Hearts, and Transform Lives.

Yes, I am growing more and more sentimental as each day passes but I can't help it. I've grown so attached to the people around me, my environment, and everything else that makes my world stay on its natural axis. I am sounding corny. It's true, I guess, that some changes in our lives aren't so welcome. These changes decide our future. If only life were more predictable, it'd be easier then.

back from hiatus? maybe..

2005-06-11T07:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged here in the longest time. I can't believe it. I have got to start learning how to edit this thing! Until that happens, I'll still be posting at my Xanga.. Come check it out sometime (As if someone bothers to come here pa). www.xanga.com/pwincess_mawish

Anyhoo, I'll try to change the ever-so-perennial look of my blog soon. Until then, ciao!

new blog

2005-04-08T20:37:00.000-07:00

hey guys.. i sorta moved my blog to xanga for the meantime.. i'm kinda having difficulty here sa blogger eh.. anyhoo, drop by my xanga huh?! tag, give hugs and prop me, ayt?

www.xanga.com/pwincess_mawish

thanks guys! ü

whew

2005-03-21T23:39:00.000-08:00

i totally miss coming here! uhmm.. i kinda moved my blog AGAIN.. i now do xanga.. but i think i'll be back nanaman.. after summer? maybe...well, that's all. just wanted to type something up here.. ü

missed this..

2005-03-14T14:16:00.000-08:00

haaaayyy... i miss bloooogging na!! i've been meaning to post but something usually keeps me from doing so. i think i'll make bawi after exams.

btw, tomorrow's the last day of the schoolyear and jm's birthday. i'm sooo excited! party everyday starting tomorrow.. haha!! okay.. so my gimikera self is emerging na.. lolx!!

anyhoOo, just dropped by to say hi.. nah.. i was quite pissed earlier today.. though i know i'm being shallow. anyway, most everyone passed the chem exam because of remedial classes. unfairrrr!! i wish i could join the remedial too! i want extra points!!hmpf.. enough selfishness! :P

bellbell and i are buying stuff tomorrow for our farewell party/birthday party/despedida on wednesday so that means we're going around tomorrow after lunch at jm's. jm's coming with us daw. fun fun fun!

i just can't wait for summer.. approximately, 24 hours to go... yippee!! i'm going to manila!! yey!! i miss manila na.. i haven't been there in a long time!! plus, i'll be seeing my cousins too.. :D

well, i gotta scoot. i still have to read my noli me tangere and review for english and geometry. i haaate proving.. grrr!! ciao!

nada.nil. i just can't think of something appropriate.

2005-02-28T19:48:00.000-08:00

not much happened. my life is boring, i know.

anyway, ma'am ruth distributed the failure notices for chemitry kanina. unbelievably, yours truly did not receive one. i bet she didn't give me because she knows i'd be totally humiliated by the whole thing.. or could i have really passed the quizzes.. or did i just miss a few points? well, whatever reason she has.. thank you!

hmm.. i just love the fact that whenever exam week rolls around, teachers stop giving homework na. i just loooove it! we have no homework for tomorrow.. just a quiz in social science and that's it. unbelievable, right?

by the way, jm and i officially started to lead the PA na kanina. i was so embarrassed come the 1 o'clock prayer! i was having a problem with coughing.. of course, i couldn't cough near the system as everyone in school would hear it. instead, i ended up speeding the prayer up and getting reprimanded afterwards by the most annoying brother in the whole FSC. no.. just kidding. he teached me how to read a prayer. god, i know how to read a prayer! i just needed to cough.. but i don't really care. what's done is done and all i have to do is take his advice and do better the next time. or should i say cough before i start leading the prayer?

i didn't do much since i went home. i just took a bath and after that.. as per usual, the phone started ringing. wex and i talked for a bit until my mum called me na for dinner and now here i am typing up nonsense to just pass the time and have an excuse to go online after finishing our algebra project. needless to say, i'm addicted to the net.

sleepless in iligan

2005-02-27T08:02:00.000-08:00

haaayyy.. i feel uber groggy after what seemed like barely six hours of sleep. i kept waking up every other hour.. grrrr!!! what could have caused this? information overload from last night? i hope not.. i WISH last night was just a dream.. i WISH it didn't really happen.. oh. my. god. i feel really horrible right now. waaaaahhhh!!! i don't know what to do. someone.. help ME please!!!

recap

2005-02-26T22:44:00.000-08:00

haaayyyy... i miss blogging soooo damn much. i've been trying to post but i always end up closing the browser. this time, i promise i won't. sooo much has happened since the last time i posted and i don't think what i'll say would make any sense or connection with my previous post. but nevertheless, let me just give you a quick recap since i'm also in the mood.

well, as we all know, february is the love month and i don't think there's any better way to prove just that. in the past few days, a loooot has happened which have been so unexpected. first, "secret lovebirds" finally announced (or should i say.. were finally discovered?) and so they had nothing to do but confirm. plus, the others finally had the courage to let their feelings show (gets ba?). all i can say is that there's this unexplainable phenomenon that's going on in our homeroom. everyone seems to be in love except me. lolx! the past days were filled with so many sweet and kilig moments from different couples. but shootings in filipino were filled with so many kilig candid moments. peter and jen look so cute together!! it's funny how peter, who used to be really silent and mysterious became instantly uber sweet... awwww!! we were shooting in the pier then so the wind was blowing and the sun was setting and left a really nice effect in the sky.. just perfect for two budding lovebirds! we were still taking a break but we got stolen shots of them being all sweet.. lolx!!

hmm.. on the ME front, not much has happened but multiple low scores in chem and some zeroes here and then.. mediocre scores in social science and filipino but very good scores in geometry and algebra.. haaayy.. i wish that for once all my grades would come shooting up instead of fluctuating.. it seems that every time i get a good grade in chem, my geom grade drops and every time i become good in geom, i get equally horrible in chem. life becomes so ironic sometimes. i wish that for just a moment.. everything becomes perfect for a while - even just a while. that's all i'm asking. enough of all this mediocrity..

our filipino movie is finally through.. well, almost. we finished shooting the scenes but wed is still in the process of editing it. meanwhile, safa (my twini) and i are currently working on our english scenes. we decided to film it nalang instead of performing it live since it would mean more stress. we shot the first scene later this afternoon as it was so hard to memorize lines in old english plus costume and make-up took so much of our time. the whole day turned out to be quite a food trip. we had lunch at jollibee and after that had margie's timeline reprouduced for the test in social science this monday (which reminds me.. STUDY and no more cramming!! lolx!!). we went back to peter's and then we started preparing na. we finished shooting scene one at around 6 pm. the others went home ahead while kristie, jen, me, martin and jm stayed for a while. we all decided to go to peek 'n berry for some chow nanaman. lolx!! peter still had to ask permission so we ended up leaving their house at 6:30 pm na. i went home with kristie and martin since we lived close by and i arrived at around 7:30pm.

something just happened but i am not saying it here. it would be sooo weird if i did. anyway, it's almost 11pm and i need to go. i'm going to study for social science na. ciao!

...i'm sorry...

2005-02-16T19:18:00.000-08:00

my day is one BIG mess. it all started out perfectly and now i'm just so pissed. i wanna cry but no tears are coming.

my mum and i had a fight. it's all so mababaw but i still feel bad about it. why feel bad? it's because i started it.. i know i've been insensitive and i haven't been going home early lately.. but it's all because my dad got confined and so i don't have anyone to come home to in the afternoons since my mum and my tita is in the hospital with my dad. now that they're home, i try as much as possible to go home early but it's not that easy at all. i have my responsibilites in school too - loads of projects to be exact.

it's all because i wasn't able to go out at 4:15.. the time i told our driver to come pick me up.. i really intended to come home early but school kept me otherwise.. well, not really.. basically, i just hung out with my friends since.. but i was waiting for wed, jen, peter and margie to come out of remedial classes because i wanted to ask about our shoot.. i went out at around 5pm thinking that everything's ok.. apparently, things weren't ok. my mum came with the driver to pick me up pala since they'd be going to the hospital to pay the balance that caritas wouldn't be paying and to have my dad's platelet counted. once i got in the car, my mum started blabbing na. i didn't even have a chance to defend myself. i know i deserve to be given a lecture but she was just so harsh and i was really hurt. my whole day became a mess after that.

i just said sorry to her a few minutes ago but i still feel hurt and i really want to cry. unfortunately, the tears aren't coming. i'll just have to forget about it and think about the brighter things in life. oh well. i just hope we'll be okay come dinner time.

bum

2005-02-14T20:49:00.000-08:00

i promised i'd post the get-together details but whatever.. im uber tired and i just don't have the energy to upload the pics and put every detail down. maybe next time.

my day seemed sooo.. unpredictable. first, two of my friends had a fight and for a while they even split up. good thing though they're okay na. next, our filipino class turns into this bull session/confrontation because our projects seems to be such a mess but by afternoon, we were all very happy na and everyone seemed to cooperate na. hmmm.. just a few minutes ago.. my friend's house was near a fire.. god everyone was panicking. we couldn't really do anything but good thing they're okay and still breathing. labshoO gurl! mwah!

i gotta go. i still hafta make my chem outline for tomorrow. see ya.. :)

i miss blogging terribly

2005-02-13T00:19:00.000-08:00

waaaaaahhhh!! i can't believe i'm finally blogging after how many days of doing projects, doing business and stuff! let me just give you a recap of the previous days.

warning: uber long post after what seemed like no updates in a very long time.

feb 9- free day! it was a muslim holiday as well as the chinese new year and the muslim new year so it was declared a holiday. it's so nice to live in a place where half the population is muslims becuase you always get to enjoy their holidays too! lolx! anyway, i did nothing but go to our shoot for our movie in flip class. we were supposed to go shoot the scenes where MC and CI were going to the city and just chill. well, after meeting up with everyone in the city, we immediately shot the scene.. in dunkin' donuts pa! it was so embarrassing! and then we shot a scene in the cathedral where the old ladies were complaining because we were making a scene daw.. whatever! then.. we went to /bench to shoot some more scenes of MC and CI chilling out and having fun. after a few minutes of decision-making, we went to phoebe's crib to borrow her uber nice guitar. while the guys practiced the song, jen, margie and i went to church xe it was ash wednesday.. we went back to phoebe's crib after the mass since it's just a stone's throw away.. then we went off to club seven. we were supposed to shoot a scene there of CI singing his song. btw, it was kuya wed who made the song.. and it's uber nice since we helped make the verses! haha!! we were too shy to ask the management if we could shoot so we ended up shooting another scene at children's park. the place is so nice na. they lit it up and put benches pa. we wrapped up at around 9 pm and everyone went home na. after a long day, all i wanted to do was sleep but unfortunately, i still had to do my project. that left me busy up until 12 am and i decided to sleep na.

feb 10- opening of la salle fair 2005. a lot of people came to school late simply because when you're late all you have to do is pay P10 and no more detention. it was fun to do business even though i smelled like french fries. haha! i helped cook in the morning but then i started counting the chits and then ma'am juliet assigned me to take charge of the money and the remitting since our class treasurer won for student council and therefore, was in the SC office helping out. the whole day went great - bonding moments with nicatoOts, yenyen, guen, martin, jen, mara, peter, elrey and everyone else in the booth! nica and i even bought brooches.. with one of our brooches similar. cuteness! sad part though.. i wasn't able to ride the ferris wheel with most of my friends since i had to keep an eye on the money and i had to remit the chits in the afternoon. boo. we shot a few scenes after dismissal and then we went to the gym to watch "celebrating his presence." it's a musical by the N-Psalm, our school choir. it was a presentation of how GOD made his presence in the life of St. John Bapist de La Salle. i thought it would be boring but i had so much fun during the show. it ended at around 8pm and so i just hitched a ride home with april anne. that night, i slept at 2:30 am. i finally finished my project for computer class but i had a really groggy feeling in the morning when i woke up. boo.

feb11- i passed my project in the afternoon along with everyone else's. same thing happened. i took charge of the money-keeping and the cooking early on since margie, the one really in charge of cooking joined the fun run. she arrived and so i went back to just keeping the money. we just bummed around in the morning but then we decided to enjoy the afternoon in the mini carnival. when it wasn't that hot, we (as in around 18 of us) went to ride the ferris wheel together. it was so fun to scream with everyone else screaming with you too! after getting off, we laughed so hard because of martin. haha! i can still remember the look on his face everytime the wheel turned... it felt like he was going to be sick! haha! we couldn't think of something else to do after getting off so we just stood near this one booth. after a while, people started throwing 25 cents and so everyone joined in. we were having such a blast. btw, the game goes like this.. you throw 25 cents into the table and if your 25 cents went into a box perfectly then you get P1 worth of 25 cents. there were so many of us so every time we threw coins, we were bound to get at least P5 worth of 25 cents. we were going crazy there.. we kept saying "1,2,3.. AJA!" haha! we were starting to draw attention and we only stopped when we didn't win na.. but that kodak moment was totally worth remembering. guen and i went back to the booth to wrap up and remit the chits. we were so happy to find out that we were doing such a great job of selling fries. haha! our accounting skills were just so good.. charrr! our profit was quite good, actually. and so.. after that, we went our separate ways and then me, jen, martin and margie went to the city to find jen some clothes for the get-together. it was so fun because we were boutique hopping and martin kept complaining becuase girls are just so fussy.. haha!! martin and i went home together and he even paid for my fare! yippee! that's what cousins are for! lolx!

feb 12- we decided not to sell anymore fries on the last day. so.. 24 of us.. mostly the same people rode the ferris wheel again. the whole ferris wheel was filled with maagap students and we just wouldn't settle if not everyone gets to go on together! after that, we went to play the 25 cents thing game. i had such a great time! we kept eating the whole morning since the film showing booth was full. we ended up staying in the classroom for the remainder of the morning. our former classmates went to visit and we chatted for some time. eemar and i went to the city afterwards to get our nails done. after that, we went our separate ways to get ready for the get-together activity.

*details for get-together party will be posted later. i'm sooo tired right now. be back soon!

wtf?!

2005-01-30T10:47:00.000-08:00

grrrr! everything i typed up in the last hour or so was not published! dang! i'll just retype it later. arrggh!

bummer

2005-01-30T10:36:00.000-08:00

god, i missed blogging! it seems as though my life ain't complete without at least posting once in 3 days.. haha!! blog addict!!

anyway, friday wasn't that hectic at all. just plain boring since some of my friends had to join the eco camp. boohoo! we weren't as noisy as we usually are. mr. viga and spirits didn't even cheer us up. they totally behaved while jen was away which means mara and i totally ran out of things to say. haaayy... :(

two more days until the miting di avance. i'm sooo freaking out already. my dad left for manila yesterday and i still haven't finished my speech for tuesday!! arrrgggghhh!! this is totally bad news coz noone's going to help me out.

much blab about the elections.. our filipino movie is sooo bad news. we weren't able to shoot yesterday since the cam is with margie which means it's with her until today when they go home. and besides, who wants to shoot on a sunday?! everyone's going to be making their projects and homeworks then. plus, there's this english play. bummer. we're supposed to present it after the la salle fair which is one feb 10-12 and we've only got less than half a month and we still haven't started. oh god. wait.. talk about la salle fair.. one more problem. bidding for booths was on tuesday and we won the beta showing booth (sort of film showing booth) with 17,100. problem is, even though we have the money to pay for it... it's still pretty high and how are we supposed to gain back all the money we've lost in 2 1/2 days?! this is all because of that stupid teacher in the sophomore year who went with her students to the bidding and didn't do anything at all when her students kept bidding higher and higher even though all they had to lose was 3,000. who's stupid enough to do that?! when our adviser asked why she didn't do anything.. she just laughed. that bitch! is she retartded or what?! and now.. with all that crap.. we're left with no booth since the SC (student council) decided to cancel the booth and we just don't want to have french fries again since that would be really tiring. ma'am ruth told us pa that if ever we don't have any booth, then we're gonna have to clean up the school. no way!! haay.. i hope we think of a pretty nice booth by tomorrow.

my life isn't that problematic. let's talk about something nice and worth remembering naman. yesterday was soo fun! i went immediately to peter's house when we arrived from cdo and there.. we talked about everything but our schoolwork.. haha! they were having an open forum when i arrived and too bad i missed half the fun. minutes later, we went to my twini's house since she and peter are pretty much neighbors. we gave her rachel's abridged edition of a midsummernight's dream and we stayed in her crib for 30 mins. their crib is so nice! i didn't know it was that big.. god.. they have like 3 sets of receiving areas. coolness! after that, we went back to peter's to talk to wed about the script since lovelle's going to do it. we went back to our crib to make our presentation for the miting di avance and then.. suddenly.. wed and rex arrived.. with much of my surprise. they stayed here and we discussed our projects. we had dinner and then they went home but while waiting for dinner, we played blackjack and searched for pics in friendster since rachel's going to use them for the presentation. we ended up making the intro for our movie and decided that wed's going to compose a song.. haha.. i can't imagine how it's going to turn out... plus, we're going to record it for real! we're going to have an OST for our movie.. haha!

i'll be back later.. i still have to make my homework for cl class. ciao!

of campaign boards, latest chikas and not so schizo days

2005-01-26T23:54:00.000-08:00

the past two days have been spent doing room-to-room campaigns, fixing our campaign bulletin board, going home late and having some fun even though you're about to crack because of pressure. i just felt how junior year is really different from freshie and sophie year. i think the last time i went home past 7 pm for something regarding my extra-curriculars would be... hmm.. i don't even remember. that's just how long it's been since i've stayed in school for so long just to do something regarding extra-curriculars and not an affair such as musikahan or the like.

sometimes, i still can't believe i'm running for student council. somehow, i already had an inkling that most everyone would be convincing me to run but i never really dwelled on that thought for more than 2 minutes that's why i'm still not used to the fact that i really am running. anyway, we spent yesterday and monday morning campaigning room-to-room. it was really embarrassing at the start but soon enough we got used to going around and introducing ourselves. it was quite fun actually.

tuesday pretty much went this way as well but we did miss our entire geometry class. yippee!! what was embarrassing though was when we entered homeroom kalayaan of the first year. i instantly turned a slight shade of pink once we stood in front. why? elrey, a classmate of mine has a crush on this girl named rowena who is from kalayaan. just about last week, he finally decided to call her up and introduce himself. well, they started talking on the phone but still, rowena does not have any idea how he looks like or who he really is apart from the fact that he's from homeroom maagap of the third year. when asked how he got her name.. she told her he got it from me. arrggghhh!!! that was totally a lie. i found out about rowena because he asked me if i knew someone by that name and since rowena's sister and my cousin are pretty tight, then of course i know her!! dang!! it was so embarrassing standing in front and introducing myself and then when i said my name.. she instantly looked at me with a very weird look on her face.. arrrgghhhh!!! i thought i was gonna die right there and then! later that afternoon, we tried finishing our campaign bulletin board but unfortunately, we had little resources and so we weren't able to finish our board. still, we did something productive such as our background which is totally cute (my idea, of course!)! sad thing though, we went home at around 8 pm plus a teacher scolded us for being so noisy even though it wasn't really our fault but the other party's since their friends came over and made such noise pollution. oh well, what can we do?

earlier today, we didn't do any campaigning anymore. just fixing/finishing our bulletin which i really didn't do much since i was so in demand. haha! actually, rachel and me did the layouting and i really needed to go by 6:30 since i had to drop by my tutor and ask for questions to practice on for chem. right now, i'm chatting with rex and my tito roy who i haven't spoken to in a month or so.

tomorrow's going to be teacher's day and i'm not looking forward to it at all. except for the part where we shoot a few scenes after the program. it's going to be really funny. i can't wait. well, i got to catch some sleep. i still have to get up at 6 am.

ninang!

2005-01-23T18:30:00.000-08:00

i became a ninang today. gosh! i feel sooo old. i became a ninang at age 14!! haha.. but i actually kinda like the idea of being a ninang. it feels like i'm getting more mature. haha! i'm so immature at times xe.. :)

well, right now i'm doing our chapter 1 for our english term paper but phoebe says that we need not pass tomorrow since our teacher is going to discuss it with us pa. whew! i can finally breathe. well, not quite. i still have my pending computer project and my algebra homework waiting to be finished. arggghh! my long weekend was indeed long but it still didn't compensate for all the sleep i missed! tomorrow's monday and a day 2. bummer. i still haven't practiced my arnis blocking techniques. plus, i need to start learning the anyo for our exam. problem is, the handout is so blurry, you can't possible tell how the figure is supposed to be executed! haay..

from introvert to schizophrenic and back again

2005-01-23T00:49:00.000-08:00

grrr!! i spent the last hour typing my entry only to find out it didn't get published!!!! grrrr!!!!

things can change with just a blink of an eye. well, that's just how i see things now since most everything around me is undergoing change - either physical or something unseen. i can't believe how things can easily change. it's like change is so normal that we don't really notice it until it's really obvious like a very physical change. things can easily go from predictable to full of surprises and people can go from cynical to hopeless romantic.

anyway, yesterday was quite memorable and i'm sure i'll never forget it. my day started quite early even though we were enjoying our class spirit holiday. i joined the MTAP and thus, i had to go to ICNHS (iligan city high national high school). it went pretty well and i was surprised since i just breezed through some of the questions. i heard we got on to the next level but i won't get my hopes up because i'll surely be diappointed if we don't. btw, MTAP is a contest in math sponsored by Metrobank and DepEd.

my afternoon was spent in school. specifically, the library where everyone met up for our movie in filipino. we weren't able to do anything much but change the storyline and the script for the nth time. in desperation, we even got to the point of deciding not to go to the musikahan. most of the members quickly dismissed the idea and so we decided to just do the night shots so we would stil be able to watch the contest and still have a vaild reason to stay up late. we didn't wait for the results but we heard that our team, maagap-matulungin won first place. yippee! good going guys! :)

our side of the city had a major blackout but we decided that it would totally create the atmosphere we were looking for and with that we continued with our plans. when we got to our house, we realized that the cam was dead and that peter (our lead actor) couldn't really make it and had a 50-50 chance of coming since his parents don't usually allow him to go out for fear of something bad that will happen. anyway, we finally convinced his parents and assured them that he'd get home safely and we finally found someone who lived nearby who had a generator - margie's sister-in-law. since things were finally settled, we started preparing for our actual shoot. we lit up the whole terrace with candles which totally gave the whole thing a romantic feel. everything went pretty well since we were struck with the craziest ideas when we started shooting. wed, rachel, peter and jm stayed up until around 12 am while the rest already went home at qround 10:30 pm. shooting the last few scenes were kinda hard since we couldn't think of the right words for them to say. eventually, we finished and everyone went home. still, i slept at 1 am.

today was pretty fun too. we had so much fun at the shoot with michael (victor's adorable younger brother) and trinket (rachel's pretty younger sis). together, they make one really nice couple. haha. they totally have chemistry. too bad though, they were a bit shy and couldn't really function very well since they just go introduced. but still, they were good. today was just plainly, LAUGH TRIP. haha. :)

after every laughter is tears. this statement is really true. it's just how i feel right now. i feel like i'm so lonely now that i realize that even if i have a lot of friends, i really don't consider any of them my best friend. hmm. college is nearing and i still haven't decided which course to take. junior year will be ending and i still need to prove to my teachers that i'm worth every little adjustment they made to help me. senior year is fast approaching and i need to make sure that i'm ready to take the final step of my high school years. *sigh* i just can't believe how time went by so quickly.

i thought...

2005-01-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

i thought everything was going fine until i read wed's messages. he said that he's quitting being leader for our movie in flip class and he's handing over the work to me and nica. i know the meeting went a little bit way out of hand kanina but i didn't think he would let go that easily. i know he can do it. i just hope he realizes that it would be better if a he directed the movie and then nica and i would just help around with the script, the props and the project over-all. nica and i had lots of troule trying to direct our movie last year and he just breezed through theirs. i wish he'd call or at least be willing to still be leader when we meet up tomorrow for our shooting. *crossed fingers*

i'm too tired to think of a title

2005-01-18T19:22:00.000-08:00

it's been hectic. we shot a few scenes yesterday. it was mainly our trailers for our movie in flip class. everything went well until my mum called me after lunch to tell me that i got an 83 for RHGP (revitalized homeroom guidance period). after everything i've done for our homeroom.. she gave me that?! she's so unbelievable. that got me really upset. bummer. good thing, rex went online and we talked until past 11. that made me feel better.

hmm.. today.. not much happened. geom did not upset me at all even though our homeroom adviser is the one teaching it. chem was simply fun. haha. it's ok even though our experiment messed up since the phenolphthalein indicator is such a liar and did not show a faint pink color and after a while, it became instantly pink! *pout*

afternoon classes were okay. not!! i wasn't able to study for social science and our teacher gave us a sort of pop quiz (nah.. not really.. the other homerooms told us about it already!) . i only knew the names of the leaders of the reformation and a little detail here or there. peter knew a little about the topic and let me copy. haha. our teacher had some business to attend to thus she stepped out of the classroom for at least two minutes. just enough time to let me copy his answers. hehe! bad girl me!

after dismissal, screening for student council officers of 2005-2006 was scheduled. god! we had to wait until around 5 for it to actually start. we stayed around until 6 to wait for our other classmates who were also running. major kwentuhan with rex, guen and jm!! hehe!! ma'am ruth asked me a few questions regarding my position and it was totally fine. i felt like we were just talking. she asked me why i was running as PRO when at times, i'm so aloof. she also told me that that was also the comment of most teachers about me. well.. at that instant.. i came to a realization. i got a 6 (or middle point) between being warm and friendly and being shy and aloof in a psychological test we took. it just proves that i really am a human oxymoron. plus, i'm a gemini - a split of two personalities. well, that explains a lot. sometimes, i notice myself staring blankly and sometimes i'm just soo loud and talkative. now i know why. but generally, the whole screening was okay. tomorrow, we're going to be screened by the student council officers themselves. wish me luck!

i promise!

2005-01-17T02:12:00.000-08:00

i promised myself i'd finish my project for t.h.e. today. i hope i'll be able to. it's already 2 am and i still haven't finished it. dang. i'll be back in a bit. i'll try to be more productive in the next few hours.

nothing important

2005-01-15T20:50:00.000-08:00

i had nothing to do online so i made a hi5 account. add me up if you're a member. here's the link -------> http://www.hi5.com/i?l=DSLBZSD

i still have to finish my scrapbook. gotta go.

it's been a hectic week

2005-01-14T22:25:00.000-08:00

it's been a hectic week for me. as i sit down in my computer chair and begin typing this, i just realized how much of a blur things seem.

monday morning - it was very typical since everyone was just doing their usual stuff - studying for chem, reading noli me or just talking about their weekend. classes started and things were going pretty well until the teachers started making a fuss about the upcoming elections for the next school year. nobody really took them seriously since noone was interested. the rest of the days blurred by and now.... i'm stuck with a candidacy i'm not so happy about. running for student council is really nice when i think about it. i'm running for PRO and my job description is reading the morning prayer, angelus and 1 o'clock prayer over the PA. i have no problem with my job description since i've been reading prayers over the PA for quite some time already and it's become something normal for me but the only problem is that... i think the election has become a sort of popularity contest. i say so because the so-called "mean girls" are running and they've turned the whole election into a sort of popularity contest and their line-up is no good at all. they've chosen the wrong set of people but i think that's pretty predictable naman from the start since they too are the wrong set of people to run for student council.

i know i sound too judgmental when i say the wrong set of people but that's just how most people think. by the way, "mean girls" refers to a group of four girls in our school namely J, H, O and S. they're not really slutty biatches but they're referred to as the "mean girls" since they think they're so popular and that the whole student body is ready to turn their heads when they pass by and worship them.

anyway, the rest of the day today turned out fine even though my chemistry test didn't turn out as i wanted it to be and i didn't get to pass my english outline earlier this afternoon since i needed a complete list of books for my outline since our teacher wants us to be very specific but since we had our meeting for filipino class, my day brightened up a bit. we discussed about our project - the movie. wed and i already last night about the events and basically the flow of the story. all we had to do was discuss to the members how things are going to be and so we discussed the necessary things and agreed to start taping this monday since there are no classes due to the card distribution. i'm so excited na. the story's going to be really nice since we're going to focus on the love story of crisostomo ibarra and maria clara. wed and i planned the first few scenes already and so far.. kakakilig! i hope our movie turns out fine becuase i'm so hyped up about it already.

btw, pray for me and wish me luck for next week - campaign week and for our tapings... Ü

school sucks

2005-01-08T10:02:00.000-08:00

sometimes we have this inkling that things won't go right. even the start of your day turns out to be a disaster. at least, mine was.

i woke up with a start yesterday to find out that it was 20 minutes past my usual wake-up time. to my horror, i rushed immediately to the bathroom and in 15 minutes time, i was ready to have breakfast. only, i had to do it hurriedly since i was way behind schedule.

school sucked too. i was feeling introvert-ish the whole day and everyone noticed that i wasn't my usual bubbly self so they kept on asking why i was so silent. hmph. what can i do? i just wanted some peace. anyway, technology class was really boring and being the unusually silent girl on the back, my teacher called me to take part in the discussion.. it seemed like i was thinking really deep daw. weird. i just didn't feel like talking that much yesterday, that's all. the afternoon proved to be much more depressing than i expected it to be. we were having a 25-minute schedule instead of our usual 40-minute one since we were having a mass for the tsunami victims at 3pm. english class was reeeeally horrible. my teacher rejected me and my partner's proposal for our term paper. i doubt it if she's a wide reader. she doesn't even know who paolo coelho is! god.. that was really unbelievable! she rejected our proposal because she thought our topic wasn't related to literature. after getting our rejected proposal on the table, i explained to her what it really meant and that she just probably misunderstood our proposal. she agreed and she said that we just have to change the title and stick to the topic. at least, that was settled. social science class wasn't that great too. we have to present a sort of impersonation on monday and we were grouped into four. sadly, i was the only rose among the thorns. i was the only girl in our group! bummer. i have no problem with the boys naman. it's just that things don't usually turn out as you expect them to be once you're with so many boys. i just hope things will be okay come monday afternoon. *crossed fingers*

school sucked even more. two bombs were dropped once dismissal came. our level moderator, which happens to be our chemistry teacher and bestfreind of our adviser called me to her office. by the sound of that, things could get pretty ugly. i went in her office and handed her the DVDs she wanted to borrow. with that, she smiled and let me sit. even if she was having a good mood, only one thing was running through my mind, "i am clearly in trouble." it was very clear that i didn't have a disciplinary problem since i'm this diligent student - no absent, no tardy.. blah blah. at the back of my mind, i knew this was the inevitable. what's worse about it is that she dropped the two bombs at the same time. BUT she reassured me that she'd help me and with that i heave a big sigh of relief. i just don't understand it. sometimes i hate her but sometimes i just looove her. *shurgs shoulders* the world is just so full of unexplainable things. now, all i have to do is achieve my new year's resolutions and pray real hard.

*i'm not posting it here. this place is just not safe for all my secrets. i just don't want any of my "school friends" to know about this since they'd probably stumble upon this once we can finally surf the net during our computer class. if you want to know, just ask me.

back-to-school blues

2005-01-04T20:32:00.000-08:00

i'll be bidding my usual habits for the past 18 days since school will be starting tomorrow. arrggh. for the first time, i'm not looking forward to go to school anymore. i'm not willing to welcome long and excruciating hours spent sitting in my armchair listening to things i'm not interested in.

sometimes i wish we could choose which classes we'd like to take just as long as we take the necessary subjects like math, science, english and p.e. unfortunately, it's not like that in our school. bummer.

only three more months to endure and summer will finally come. i can't wait. i've been depriving myself of the sleep, television and luxury i used to have before junior year came along. i just can't wait for those kinds of luxury to be mine once more. plus, we're planning to go somewhere this summer. *crossed fingers* i hope it pushes through.

quick recap

2005-01-04T11:33:00.000-08:00

i haven't blogged lately since i've been so busy trying to finish little things for school. anyway, let me give you a quick recap on the things that have been going around in my mundane existence.

january 2- i spent the whole day at home going online and talking on the phone. this was due to my allergy (which i never knew i had). it gave me little rashes on my back, a little part of my arms, some on my legs and some near my shoulders and they itched like hell.

january 3- my mom, my tita and i went to cagayan de oro yesterday to watch movies. we watched mano po 3 and so... happy together. the movies were great and exceeded my expectations - my expectations being that "filipino movies aren't really great." well anyway, we did some shopping too. though we did it hurriedly since we only had 30 minutes to do it before the next film starts. in that 30 minutes, i planned to get my ears pierced. i've always wanted two piercings in each ear but then at the last minute, i chickened out. i wouldn't want to ruin my "good girl" reputation in school. plus, the teachers are just so strict and i just can't violate the school code. well, until *******'s still in la salle that is. i'm definitely having my ears pierced this summer.

from introverted to schizophrenic and back again...

2005-01-03T00:03:00.000-08:00

things can change even with just a blink of an eye. that phrase says everything i feel right now. i can't believe just how fast things can go from friends to lovers... simple to complicated... introvereted to extroverted and many more things.

a lot has happened since yesterday. even though we were enjoying our so-called "class spirit award," school still got in the way. my day started out pretty early with the MTAP which was held in iligan city national high school. things went pretty well. i even heard that we got in to the next level. yippee!! plus points for us! :)

anyway, i spent my afternoon in school. specifically, the library for our movie in filipino. most everyone was there for the shoot and for the musikahan contest where jen, kristie, brain, lovelle, jerry and ahmed were joining. we ended up doing nothing but changing our storyline and script for the nth time. :( in desperation, we even got to the point of ditching the musikahan contest. peter and some of the others directly dismissed the idea and so we watched the musikahan contest and left after our classmates performed their awesome dance. man, were they good or what?! anyway, we headed to our house. good timing - brownout. we had trouble convincing peter, the lead actor to come since his parents wouldn't allow him to go because it would be dangerous since it's so dark plus the cam was dead and we had to find someone who had a generator for us to be able to charge it. good thing margie's sister-in-law lived nearby and had a generator. we charged the cam there and soon things were flowing smoothly as planned. wed and i lit dozens of candles to create the atmosphere of romance for the later scenes. the electricity came back at around 9 but we ended up using the candles still. the actual shooting was way better. i got pretty hyped up and we had the craziest ideas for their scene in the terrace. haha. peter and rachel got real classy and wore the nicest clothes. jm dressed up as a french chef with matching beard while his assistants, jen and kristie were both dressed identically (since they both joined the dancing contest.. champion kami!! galing xe nila sumayaw!) . they were the prettiest waitresses last night. my tita helped around too with the craziest ideas. most people ended up going home at around 10:30 but jm, rachel, peter and wed stayed until around 12 am since it was so hard to perfect the other scenes plus we had to make the script while we planned the blocking and the briefing. boy was it fun! i didn't sleep until 1 am though.

today was pretty fun too. we didn't have taping until the afternoon and even i went late. the agreed time was at 1 pm but knowing my classmates who usually showed up late, i went there at 2 pm with wed, our director, still not there. he arrived a little bit after me and we then started shooting michael's, victor's adorable brother's scene. we were rehearsing trinket (rachel's sister) and michael's scene together when the clock struck four. rachel and trinket had to finish up since their dad was coming to pick them up already since he had a meeting at around 5 pm. with that, we decided to take the shooting there in rachel's house. so we let peter's driver bring us to rachel's house with their safari. we had some cake first and then started shooting. michael and trinket looked so good together! we had so much fun watching them. though we weren't able to finish shooting all the scenes involving them since both of them got pretty knocked out plus michael had to go home to fuentes which is really far from the city proper. kristie, jm and i went home together. i had dinner at around 9 pm since we had to drop by the city and buy some barbeque first. as soon as i finished changing, i went online and here i am now, typing up another entry and wondering about the sad things in life.

lately, i've been thinking about college and life in the near future. i hope things will turn out right for me. i hope i'll be able to stay on the honor roll until the end of senior year. i hope i get into a good school in college. i hope i'll finally be able to decide which course to take. i hope i won't be so lonely anymore and that i'll finally have someone who i can truly consider my best friend.

being a gemini is quite hard. i can be two different persons when my mood swings. arggghh!! i just hate being melancholic. i want to be happy! but don't worry.. i won't ever turn suicidal.. even if my life becomes too complicated.

2005 here i come

2005-01-01T16:53:00.000-08:00

january 1st - new year, new life... hopefully.

well, today is officially the start of a new year and hopefully, a new me. i'm promising myself i won't be sulky and that i'll go out of my shell this year. heck, i won't go anywhere if i stay like this forever.

i'm planning to start my year right. we couldn't go to church earlier today since my mom had fever so instead, we're hearing mass later. that i think is one good way to start my year.

as the new year starts to unfold, i realize that i have dumped all my schoolwork aside in the 18 days i had for my christmas break and now is high time to finally gather all that "dump" since classes will be starting soon. now, "hell" seems to whir back to life - much to my dismay, of course.

i didn't get much sleep last night since i turned in at around 4 a.m. and it resulted to a major headache when i woke up. i couldn't go back to sleep so i got up instead. i've been doing nothing productive today. just blogging, surfing and pigging out.

sometimes, i don't really understand myself. i want to go back to school badly since i don't sound that articulate anymore and sometimes, i'm uncoherent or to put it plainly, i don't make sense. still, i don't want to face all that stress again. my hibernation is too short and i couldn't really call it hibernation since i've been doing schoolwork the whole time.

well, c'est la vie.

bidding 2004 goodbye

2004-12-31T19:56:00.000-08:00

today's the last day of the year and i'm feeling all sorts of things - mixed feelings to be exact. i feel happy and quite sad as memories of laughter and tears rush through me.

there are numerous things i should be thankful of. god has given me all the best and nothing but that. this year has been so full of wonderful opportunities for me - managing to rank first on the honors list in second year and getting a new phone as a reward, our trip to boracay, being able to get honors for two quarters (as the third quarter results haven't come out yet.. please pray for me..), gaining wisdom, imparting some of that wisdom to others, meeting new people, sharing my blessings and making a difference in someone else's life, gaining life-long friends and many more. though, my year would have never been complete without all the tears i've shed. i learned that crying does not make you a coward. in fact, it makes you stronger afterwards since you learn to acknowledge your problems and try to find a solution rather than ignoring it, which is just so unreasonable.

i know that i have been selfish and insensitive at times and to try and make up for that, i plan to actually fulfill my new year's resolutions. i'm not going to make all those cliched resolutions like try to become better and change my old ways.. they're just so general. my new year's resolution would be to a) maintain my spot on the honors list, b) prove to myself that proving is no reason for me to get a low grade in geometry, c) stop making comments on ******* and ******* - they're so not worth it, and d) enjoy the rest of the schoolyear.

chemistry even on christmas break

2004-12-29T13:32:00.000-08:00

*sigh*

i can't believe i'm actually doing my chemistry outline. i swore to myself that i'd do it on january 3rd but since my mom insisted, i decided to start on it already. i can't help it. it was the only substantial and productive thing to do. well, i know i could have gone online or read a book but that's what i've been doing all this time and i really needed to finish my outline anyway. i tortured myself until i couldn't write anymore and with that, i decided to call it a night and turned in. though, as i made my way to my bed, i saw my copy of shopaholic ties the knot and instantly, i grabbed it. i read it until almost midnight.

i now realize that i'm really looking forward to ending the schoolyear already mainly because i've missed out on so many things i used to enjoy before. i've missed out on all the new movies, my fave television shows, and most of all reading - my other passion aside from making masterpieces in the kitchen, that is. i'm so glad there's only one more quarter left and it'll be summer already. too bad though, i'm going to suffer more stress and pressure once the schoolyear starts once again and i'm gonna miss my friends too!

2004-12-28T10:54:00.000-08:00

DECEMBER 25 - christmas day was nothing out of the ordinary. we just went to church and delivered my dad's gifts to his godchildren and then after that, we just went home. my relatives came over but still, i spent my afternoon texting my friends while reading paolo coelho's eleven minutes. eleven minutes proved to be better than i had expected it to be. it was so full of truth that i just couldn't put it down.

DECEMBER 26 - it was a sunday so, once again, we went to church and heard mass. there was nothing really special about this day except for the fact that i found a copy of vince's life. not much happened either so you could say that my day was pretty boring.

DECEMBER 27 - yesterday was truly a day to remember. we buried my tito dodong and it was really sentimental in the church. i fought back some tears as i watched my relatives pay their last respects. sitting there and praying for the repose of his soul made me remember my grandparents' burial as well. heck, i even chose not to view his body one last time since it would only make me remember my grandparents some more. i was pretty young when they died and i know it wouldn't have been the same if i were older but it was as if it was fresh from my memory. my memories with them came rushing in and i just couldn't help but feel sad. i miss my grandparents so much since i just realized how much they loved me knowing that i was the youngest and the baby among all the grandchildren. my afternoon was pretty productive, actually. i spent it reading my copy of vince's life and it made me realize how soon i'd be leaving my alma mater and that college life is just around the corner. it didn't make me cry like the break-up diaries but it sure did make me feel kilig and at the same time it made me think about college - the time when i would finally leave the thought of comfort of having friends that would stick with you no matter what and the portals of my alma mater which has somehow transformed into my security blanket. our reunion with all the members of the lelong-babe branch pushed through and so my evening was spent in my lolo's house. people came really late thus, i had noone to talk to. sitting alone in my lolo's living room made me remember my chilhood memories with my cousins. we would have lunch there every sunday and we'd all end up staying there the whole afternoon. my cousins and i would play silly little games in their big living room or jump around in one of the extra beds in my grandparents' room or sometimes, we would just hang around in their room near the refrigerator and eat chocolates (my lola was a chocoholic but was never diabetic!) along with everyone else. and later, when the treehouse was completed, we would stay there and take naps in the afternoon. i wish things would be back that way. things are way different now that we've all grown up and i know things would be way more different once we enter college. i just wish we'll all still be pretty tight.

christmas - just a few hours away

2004-12-24T17:14:00.000-08:00

it still hasn't dawned on me that christmas is but a few hours away. i had some punch last night - well, maybe a little more than usual but still i woke up pretty early and as usual, my phone started beeping away with friends saying good morning and others simply checking if i'm still alive. it's such a comfort to know that people - aside from your family, care about your well-being. then, i went to the city to buy some DVDs. i simply can't live without movies - they're my only consolation this christmas season since the schoolyear has been so harsh and demanding of my time all year long. good thing, one more quarter to go and i'll be bidding my alma mater, la salle, a temporary farewell until the next schoolyear starts.

talk about school, i just love going to school. especially the part where you and your friends get a chance to talk and catch up once the day is over or simply the part where you see your friends and exchange a little bit of chit-chat here and there.. what i'm trying to say here is that i just love seeing my classmates even if we don't necessarily talk that much. just the thought of us sitting down in our own little home in school gives me a sense of happiness. i'm clearly going to miss them once summer starts. well, i'm shifting topics here. anyway, the one thing i hate most about school is that the teachers keep pressuring us and it's more than we can handle. i know that's their job but could they pleeeaaaassse mellow down even for just a bit?!

it's pouring outside

2004-12-22T00:18:00.000-08:00

it's pouring pretty hard outside. i used to love rain on december mornings way back when i was more carefree. sad to say, i am not that carefree anymore. i remember wishing it would rain and when it did, i would turn the aircon full blast, curl up in my fave beanbag, sip hot chocolate and read a good book. i wish i could still do that now with all my schoolwork, still pending. sometimes, i wish they wouldn't give us any christmas break at all. it's quite the same actually. it's as if nothing's changed, you get up in the morning, think of all the schoolwork you still have to do, lament about it and go about your day feeling all sucky and bored. at least, that's how i feel.

all i want for christmas is...

2004-12-18T21:55:00.000-08:00

christmas is fast approaching and so, i made my christmas wishlist.. i hope i get some of those i've listed here.. *wink*

- webcam and headset (check! my dad bought me na!)
- happy feet sandals
- books!
- clothes!
- money?!
- 80 and up grades?! (i hope this one comes true!!! *crossed fingers*)

what else? so far, i've gone up to here already but i can't seem to think of anymore to add.

fun, fun, fun!

2004-12-18T20:44:00.000-08:00

December 18.. 9-ish in the morning... what turned out to be a really boring day became a little bit better after the christmas party. i could say that the christmas party was.. okay. i just didn't find it that enjoyable as the preceding years. why? simply because those were the days.

rex, eemar and i had plans to watch some korean flicks once more at home but before we knew it, at least another ten people were joining us and we did like the company too. before that, me, chel, bell, el and martin got our picture taken first. we did have fun. martin kept on making silly poses and thus we ended up having a blast inside the studio. we arrived home at around two and watched flicks all afternoon. though most of the time, i was just walking around and assisting all of them. things became better when kristie, guen and me had our usual chika session. i miss all those times we used to just sit around for most of the day and just talk about nothing in particular - from college courses, kilig moments, childhood memories and much much more. that's why when we finally got the chance to talk earlier this afternoon, i was taken aback a bit. i'm not used to just lying around anymore. well what can i say? junior year, indeed, has brought about many changes that i, myself haven't noticed.

yesterday was worth remembering too. we, as in most everyone of maagap went to guen's little birthday bash and decided to buy gifts together for our christmas party today. kim and i got some more time to talk and just catch up on things since we were practically together the whole afternoon. one more thing which added to experience was that of us calling each other instead of text messaging. i felt rich for once! i just hope days like this day would come more often instead of just once in a blue moon - which is near never, per se.

anyway, all i'm bearing in mind this christmas is to relax, catch up with old friends and have FUN!

hell is partially over

2004-12-17T22:32:00.000-08:00

exams are finally through and still, i don't feel the spirit of christmas at all. i though i'd feel it now since hell is partially over - only one more quarter to go. don't get me wrong but i'm enjoying the holidays. it's just that it was different when i was younger or at least when i didn't have chemistry and geometry around. i used to feel giddy and happy whenever december came around and now, it's as if december never came and all the christmas decorations are just part of the change of scenery from the dry season on to the wet season. plus with the mortality rate constantly increasing, i don't think i'd be feeling festive any soon.

passive

2004-12-11T10:33:00.000-08:00

the rain has been pouring on end since a few days back and even though it has finally come to an end, i feel as though my insides have gone past zero degrees. in short, the strong winds that the storm left has left me feeling cold, passive and oblivious to the things around me - christmas spirit included.
i know christmas is just around the corner but with all the problems that school is bringing me, i can't help but feel passive. i just wish i'll be able to get my chem grade higher because if i don't, then i'll feel completely useless and everything i've worked for will go down the drain. or if it's not possible to get 80, i hope our teacher will let me borrow a few points. now i know that going to the regionals wasn't that good because when i came back, my grade spiralled down to oblivion. but as my friends from the regionals put it, "it's better to go to the regionals and get a grade that's not so good than not go and get an even lower grade," and i know they're right but sometimes i wish it never really affected any of my grades. well, c'est la vie.

what true in true friends means

2004-12-02T23:58:00.000-08:00

i feel like my world is coming into pieces - crumbling slowly before me. things are not turning out right and i don't feel like myself at all. i may look happy but inside, all i can think about is how i'm going to be able to get through this hurdle of a problem. good thing, though, there are people who constantly stick to you no matter what. i thank my friends for always sparing me their time and for always reminding me that i'll get through this in one piece. heck, we're all going through it at the same.

i don't know what to say. i feel so glum and cold inside but i do feel a hint of warmth and happiness too. you ask why? simply because i just realized how cliches can possibly come true. i almost always thought that most of your friends would abandon you in time of struggle and defeat but i guess the cliche "true friends stick with you no matter what," indeed, is true. my friends have supported me in all my endeavors and i just realized what true in true friends meant. sure, we have struggles and differences too but we do make sure to mend them. knowing that i have friends who truly care brings me happiness. then with friends like this, i'll surely be able to get through things with a little bit of ease.

trying to explain myself...

2004-11-28T20:13:00.000-08:00

this is my first ever post here in blogspot. i feel a sort of emptiness becuase i don't see much here. it doesn't have the feeling of 'me' yet. take note, yet. i plan to fill these pages with my cheerful and verbose self and perhaps give it a personality - something completely and uniquely me. well, at least most of the time.

i know a lot of people are wondering why i chose undaunted dreaming as my blog title. it doesn't sound like me at all - or at least to those who don't know me that well. well, if i were really to describe myself in a word then i'd choose dreamer and to add to that, i'm an undaunted dreamer. undaunted as in fearless, brave, intrepid... i know i'm not brave or intrepid or anything near fearless. i'm actually very much in touch with my inner self - in short, i'm emotional and i break down easily when i get very much affected. but i'd like to think of myself as that. i do hope that someday i'd become like that - someone strong and emotional at the same time because right now, i am but a delicate soul wandering the earth.